Infidelity Advice Marriage
Friday, August 6th, 2010
I found porn photos of husband his and old girlfriend. Where can I find secular advice?
While browsing through our pictures folder, I accidentally discovered old pornographic photos of my husband and his old girlfriend. The pictures are from before my husband and I got together, so this is not an indication of infidelity. I am not opposed to porn, so the porn is not the issue. It’s one thing to see some attractive strangers have sex. It is another to see images of your husband having sex with another woman. I feel hurt and betrayed because he had five years to get rid of those pictures.
I confronted him as soon as he came home from work. He took responsibility for his actions and apologized. He is genuinely sorry to have hurt me. But I still feel unattractive and insecure about our relationship. Is there a non-religious book or website that might be able to help? Most of the readily available advice is religious in nature, but that does not apply to me because I am not religious. I am looking for a secular approach to dealing with porn-related issues within marriage.
Did he trash the photos in your presence that way you knew they were out for good? I would feel the same as you. You should not, however, feel unattractive and insecure. It is not as if they were out in the open to make you feel worse. If you want any advice then I would suggest you going to a therapist and asking them. They won’t be religious with you, so that is no problem. If he genuinely forgot about them and is sorry, then the issue is now with you. Good luck! 
Art Of Happiness Marriage counsellor in Delhi India tips on Infidelity Counseling by Dr Gitanjali